019 - #hmsg

so today was the inaugural handmade movement singapore craft fair *cue cheering and confetti cannons and fireworks woohoo* I was so so so so psyched for it throughout the week and last night's sleep was probably disturbed so many times cause I was excited heh. 

so I went with felly (really can't say how much I love this dear girl) and we walked from dhoby to fort canning, in the rain, with a teeny umbrella. man we got so wet, mostly me cause felly was the one holding the umbrella but we both got wet in the end. woohoo it was a fun day.

I spent a lot of money.

I bought stamps. 

stamps are cool and worth the money spent. 

don't try to make me feel bad, I don't feel bad at all.

I love all my buys so much wooh.

okay stop the annoying paragraphing. 

STOP. okay. so rach was supposed to come with us but she's sick >( :( it's k, it's not her fault but oh well there's always next time!! and next time I will remember to visit their HMSG tent to buy some merch ugh I could've bought a tote or something. :'( okay. I like the word tote. maybe I should start saying totes hahahah wouldn't that be annoying! and people will judge me hmph. I don't care. we shall see. 

sigh okay. feeling a little, a lot shitty now. sigh okay this shall all be to God because I cannot think and concentrate on mental conversations.

God. what is up. what is up with me. I lift up all my bitterness and resentment and neediness to you and Lord please take it all away. I don't want any of them, they don't do me any good.  Lord please please please help me to be joyful. help me not to look to people anymore because all they do is let me down and I'm tired of disappointments. I'm tired of all this, I'm sick of anger and hurt Lord. please take it all away. if taking it away costs the person who caused all of this Lord please take all of it. I don't want anything anymore I only want you. I don't want people. Lord I want you please. take away the tears threatening to be shed, the burning in my throat. replace all of it with happiness and joy and peace and security and love. and love. and tons and tons of love that I will love everyone. I will love the people, or person, who hurt me. I will love people unconditionally as you have loved us Lord. help me to love people. help me not to get attached to people anymore. Lord help me because I can't do this alone, I can't do anything alone anymore. once I leave your side I stumble and fall and I don't know why I just don't learn my lesson. Lord hold me close to you please. help me to hold you close to me. I need you.