024

So I finally developed my first roll of film. (Here I am trying to sound calm and all but I'm really fangirling on the inside like o m g I am so excited to share dem fotos with y'all.)

So cut the crap and here goes.

fav fav fav non-people (kinda) photo of the roll.

Wow ok. I'm really like in looooove with this photo and it doesn't freak me out at all so I guess I don't have trypophobia. Is that how you spell it? Oh wellz.

Fav people photo cause I miss Nat so much. Plus it looks good.

Haji. Cameo Nat and Kai.

Chloe being mean and depriving a kid of candy. lolno.

Explosives i.e. Darius.

Oh (extremely) hot damn, this is (not) our jam.

SC1'1314 ah love them to bits. (cameo camera strap.)

Lauren and I being 'tards. What's new.
 
alaksjdhf. Wow. In love with the colours and slight slight slight vignetting. And all the imperfections. 

Let me take a moment to bask in the uniqueness of film. Old school is good. 

And there are like lens flares and light shit that I really don't know the proper terms for it but here is an example.

That shit at the side(s), I love them both.

 I guess these things really come with the processing and stuff I don't even know. Maybe if I end up loving film that much I'll learn about the developing process and everything yay. 

And yes I love the flaws also. There are so many photos where I can see my thumb or something, or they're shaky or have streaks cause the camera was moving. I mean this would normally piss the hell out of my OCD self but there's so much beauty in that oh man. 
(New year reso: love imperfections; check)

Daniel, Darius, my finger. There.

A random door. My finger.

 Maybe it's just me but these things make the photos so much more... uhhh... real?
Oh, plus I couldn't see the bad things until the photos were developed. So it isn't as if I could go back and take another one. Embrace the flaws woohoo.

YAY!!! Just a few of the photos from the roll are here and I love all of them so much. So excited to use my cam more and develop more. 60 cents for each photo (digital and printed) ain't that bad... is it? Oh, wait. Including film, I think it's around 70 cents each. That ain't bad... it's like instax. I suppose.  

023 - ACSension!!!!!!!!!!!

man I thought acjc would be a little sian and full of people I know. I was so wrong.

so chlo and I decided to meet at buona at like 6.50 then we would walk there. but no we were late so we reached buona at like... 7.25. OGL told me to be there at 7.20, hers told her to be there at 7.25. so either way we were late. so we hurried and chlo wanted to run to school from the bus stop but I didn't wanna so I persuaded her not to hahaha

so we were late just in time for assembly to start and thank God we managed to find 2 seats with the other girls from smss yay. so a choir sung the national anthem and the college anthem. (I am so not used to calling it a college. I feel so old.) and we had talks for the next like 4 hours. I wondered if the whole day/orientation would be like this cause then it would be soooo boring. sigh.

but at 12 they had clan walk-ins and it was quite fun(ny). and I found out my clan. I AM IN FROZONNEEEEE which is the dude in incredibles. and I realised that voda meant water which implied there's a higher chance they we will get wet and I started freaking out but frozone is ice. so that calmed me down a little. what is my logic I don't even know.

then the OGLs did our mass and couple dance and yes. the guy on stage forgot the moves it was so funny. he was in front and in the centre so everyone was looking at him. but I think he's my clan head. oh. so our mass dance is to animal and our couple dance is to what makes you beautiful. and my first thought was: yuan would love this so much hahahahaha yes.

then we went to meet our OG(L)s and I made a friend within a minute I was so happy. hahahaha OG's fun/nice but they should be more enthu :( they are all pretty dead but it's ok it's only the first day.

we walked around a whole lot and stayed in the sun and did a lot of random things and learnt the mass dance and a couple of cheers (VODA VODA)

and then we had a mass rally yay. yesterday was so tiring I am so tired. I think we did the dance like 5+ times in a row that is so tiring wow. I need to be fit.

OH and we won our first game as an OG woohoo teamwork yay.

and I found out you can actually take 3 H2s and 2 H1s. which opens up the option of me taking trip sci + math + econs probably. but I told mom on the way back and she doesn't think it's good. but. so tempting. but probably not la. okay I will stick with BCME and I am so excited for it. I'm so excited to study bio again woohoo. oh plus apparently food science in NUS requires bio and chem. and told mom and she said food science is interesting and she approves lol. so yay ok it's probably the only course in the list that they showed us that interests me remotely. plus then I would actually be making use of the bio. yes more reasons for taking bio. there's nothing (except engineering) that will only accept with a physics prerequisite. and I wouldn't be an engineer. so yes. bio.

but then I have to decide what cca to take up sigh. I really wanna get fit + not compete so squash is that but mom doesn't think it's good + I'll be forever tired. and I also want cf. but there's nothing to show for that? but mom said the showing from cf would be in heaven lol. yes true but. I wanna be fit. and at least squash is indoors so I wouldn't be that dark.

is 2 ccas really too much to handle in jc? someone enlighten me I don't know what I should take sigh.

OKAY. but other than that my mind is relatively empty of troubles woohoo. I can't wait for monday. :)

022 - ACJC

WAAAAAHHHH I am so psyched now. excited excited woohoo.

woke up at 7.30, or maybe 7.35. dad woke me and I was so tired to turn around and get my phone and check for a text. and also I thought it would come in at 8. but then I checked and I got it at 6.08. 

and I freaked and I lay there for really long and wondered about what I should do. basically the whole morning has been spent worrying about whether I should appeal.

my head:

"I have nothing to appeal with"

"but their bio!!!"

"not like I have great cca or anything"

"BIO!!!!! and lit. ya can take lit AND econs!!"

"or leadership. yeah I don't have that too"

"but so fun there! bio I'm actually interested in. and lit and econs so I don't have to choose"

"I HAVE NOTHING TO APPEAL WITH"

then I texted tata to see where she got posted to and we started talking and I kinduv ranted to her about all the stupidity of all of this and inner raged a little. 

and I decided I can take bio and learn to love molecular stuff because I love systemic stuff already. and near the end of studying I started to like molecular stuff. plus it's nice to have a subject to cram for and actually be able to study for. 

but later I realised that I miss bio for the mugging but I miss physics for the enlightenment. so it's not confirmed that I will take bio, maybe 85% confirmed or something.

and then lin texted and I didn't know if I could give up lit because I like reading all the books and everything. but then lin made me realise I could still read all the nice books without lit. I was like oh yeah. okay. I've been having way too many blonde moments I need to stop. 

maybe it's felly. hi felly.

so I will take econs, quite confirmed and I don't know anyone who's going to acjc and taking bcme so I guess that's good! I see familiar faces around but not all the time. 

and... figured that I need to do gp!!! I'm so excited to do gp how fun.

but I don't know what cca to join. sigh. cf maybe. plus there's squash for bruises + it's recreational but idk. I'M NOT FIT. later people judge me oh my.

then I went to collect moolah from the government for the edusave scholarship woohoo yay I am so happy I have money. thank god yay giving back woohoo. 

then I got THE CALL from the ogl. he tried to be enthu but it was a bit awk so it seemed a bit fake but it's ok. I tried to be enthu back but my mom was there so it was even more awk. so he said to report at the hall (I have no idea where that is but I suppose there will be J2s around and like WELCOMMMEEE!!!!!!!!) at 7.20 and be in sch uni and to bring pe to change. which makes me scared. and excited. and he said I am in voda. it means water or something I think. it's blue. then he hung up.

and I realised after that he didn't tell me my og :( and I got a little annoyed and sad cause everyone who got called knew their og and I was secretly raging at my ogl. oh dear. STUP OGL NEVER TELL ME MY OG.

then blah blah blah nothing happened I wanted to sleep but changed my mind so I could wake early tomorrow to meet chlo at buona!!!!! woohoo 

AHHHHHHHH update tomorrow woohoo! 

also orientation is 4 days! that's good. longer than 3. yay. ok. that's all. 

021 - mostly 300113

today was a good day!!! I mean I wasn't particularly ecstatic or something but contentment filled my whole day thank God :) 

left the house and met chlo at dhoby (I love dhoby now. and calling it dhoby and not plaza is so much nicer-sounding.) and we walked to THE cathay and bought popcorn, because obviously cathay has better popcorn than gv. that was lunch. then we watched silver linings playbook!!!! 

man it was so good. it is such a good movie I would watch it five more times. plus it had jennifer lawrence. and the movie made me see how pretty she is. AND she has such a good figure it is amazing. plus the dress designers or whatever they call themselves should really make her wear better bras. and cover herself up when she's dancing and hopping around. IT IS SUCH A GOOD MOVIE. I will go watch it again.

chlo didn't like the movie as much as I did but she said it was good too. probably because the dancing kind of sucked so badly it was laughable. but it is such an intense movie. SUCH AN INTENSE MOVIE. I laughed quite a bit at all the intense scenes. but EXCELSIOR! it is such a good motto. 

plus then we went to botanic gardens, and we were a little late. and joined the measly class gathering but we had fun anyway! ate junk, played bridge, talked a little, people played fris while we took photos, the rest of the people except wai decided they wanted to play freeze and melt, they played freeze and melt, I stood there and laughed, took more photos, enjoyed the sun and the brightness and took even more photos, some people went home :(, moved the party to island, sat at island talking and waiting for around 2-3 hours, tata felicia and asyqin finally came, talked for a while more, they left, we continued talking, went home.

IT HAS BEEN A GOOD DAY. and all of us look pretty darn good in most of the photos. and whole day my brain has just been SHOULD I APPEAL!?!?!?!? I still haven't decided. I just decided to wake up early tomorrow to get the text asap to decide whether I should appeal. yes.

below are some pretty darn good photos we (taken by various people) took today:

from chlo's insta, @chloesterol

look at the sun. from kai.

wai took this, I quote, "what a diva". you can't see my hand. I was flinging it. 

SUN!!!!! from chlo.

from shing, I LOVE 4/6. I will miss everyone so much.

because. just because. I need a caption.

look I have solo photos of me. because chlo agreed that if I modeled for her she would model for me. woohoo. I can finally change profile pictures woohoo. let me get round to editing them. 

okay so past few days have been almost torture because I'm just sitting at home bored out of my mind and my brain is thinking too much and working OT. sigh. ONE MORE DAY. I can do it. I will pseudo paint tomorrow. woohoo. okay. 

bye.

oh. well today has been a good end to the holidays we've been sorta having. I like it. :)

020 - 230113

man. has today been insane? yes it has! 

firstly, thank God for all his goodness and omnipotency and being all-knowing and all. started out the day planning to go to this shop to get a toy camera but went there and the colours there weren't satisfyingly good enough. went away disappointed and sad. went to a craft shop, hoping to spend some money to cheer myself up (wow, man. I need self-control badly ha ha ha) BUT there was nothing because that shop had professional stuff and everything and mostly paint and canvases. but it's always good to find another shop! 

AND after that, I found out about another camera shop that's (not very) pretty close to where me and chlo were and we went there instead. well, motto of the day: all we have is time/we have a lot of time. SO WE WENT THERE!!!!! ANNNDDDD!!!!! really I can't contain my excitement I love this part. THANK GOD AND ALL HIS GOODNESS!!! we got there. and. AND. the shop had ALL the colours. really once I saw it I got so happy I wanted to jump around the shop. not even exaggerating. bought the camera. found out the lady there is really nice and helpful and nice. and helpful. and really really nice. you get it. so I bought film from there, 15.90 for 3 canisters.

I think it's this: 

and she taught me how to load the film and did it for me. and she told me to come back to develop film because it's only 8 (for scanning) but it's like 11 at fujifilm. here she raged a little it was quite funny. so I calculated and each so called exposure ie picture type thing would be around 36¢!!!!! that's so reasonable I got so happy after that. oh. OH OH OH!!! then the lady also told us that the stock only came in YESTERDAY!!! which is amazing. amazeballs. I could've like fainted. but I didn't. yep. oh.

the camera I got was this: 

LOOK AT IT IN ALL ITS BEAUTY AND SIMPLICITY AND CUTENESS argh I love it. I love god so much for giving me it. so me and chlo then ventured on a mini-(really mini)-adventure and took a couple of pictures (mostly taken by her, the irony). then we went to watch lesmis. I FINALLY WATCHED LESMIS!!!

(paragraphing is important) lesmis was good. it was good. I didn't cry. NO BOOK OR MOVIE CAN MAKE ME CRY. it was sad when the little kid died dang he is cute. but I didn't cry oh well.

on my way home, or actually on my way into the mrt train I saw felly!!!!!! yay. plus she called me during the movie to freak about something but I couldn't answer lol but I called her back after and she freaked and we hung up and met like five minutes later. what. are. the. odds. God is great!!!! so she almost walked right past me. which is quite shocking because I would expect myself to be the one who misses her, not vice versa. but we talked for 3 minutes until the train needed to leave and she needed to go find her friend. it was good. 

went to dinner at nex with aunts and mom and grandparents because my aunt got promoted or something hahaha I didn't eat much see how nice I am lol no not really I just wasn't that hungry. 

so I figured that since I walked so much with Chloe today, we walked from dhoby to sunshine plaza (that is past strictly pancakes) to near laselle (college of the arts. or something) to gong cha opposite sim lim square (I am torn between gong cha and koi now) to smu to near fort canning near the peranakan museum then back to smu to take a bus back to dhoby. YES so we walked a lot today, I am expecting my legs to ache tomorrow, I don't need to skip today! yay. that is all I suppose. 

but I should be explaining about the skipping part. I wanted to run on saturday but it rained the whole day so I got annoyed and googled indoor exercises and apparently skipping is good! so I dug (not really) out my good ol' skipping rope and was like I WILL SKIP FOR FIVE MINUTES AND IT WILL BE EASY. I died around a minute and a half. plus I kept tripping a little. oh. skipping is vigourous exercise. so I decided to skip five minutes every day. tomorrow I shall skip ten because I didn't skip yesterday.

THAT IS ALL. 

also tonight is mile-stoney. I like tonight. tonight has been happy. there is progress. I AM HAPPY!!!

019 - #hmsg

so today was the inaugural handmade movement singapore craft fair *cue cheering and confetti cannons and fireworks woohoo* I was so so so so psyched for it throughout the week and last night's sleep was probably disturbed so many times cause I was excited heh. 

so I went with felly (really can't say how much I love this dear girl) and we walked from dhoby to fort canning, in the rain, with a teeny umbrella. man we got so wet, mostly me cause felly was the one holding the umbrella but we both got wet in the end. woohoo it was a fun day.

I spent a lot of money.

I bought stamps. 

stamps are cool and worth the money spent. 

don't try to make me feel bad, I don't feel bad at all.

I love all my buys so much wooh.

okay stop the annoying paragraphing. 

STOP. okay. so rach was supposed to come with us but she's sick >( :( it's k, it's not her fault but oh well there's always next time!! and next time I will remember to visit their HMSG tent to buy some merch ugh I could've bought a tote or something. :'( okay. I like the word tote. maybe I should start saying totes hahahah wouldn't that be annoying! and people will judge me hmph. I don't care. we shall see. 

018

okay. haven't blogged in a while so what happened after the dramatically desperate post before this is: 

1. the qt on sat morning was on stepping out of your comfort zone for God to do more wonderful things in your life. so I thought, dang. going to acsi would be a ginormous LEAP from my comfort zone. what with the guy:girl ratio, the presentations (in both english and chinese, God save me), the hardcore lit and my blanks during lit tests (God save me more) AND swimming lessons (I can see this coming already, God save me most oh my goodness). yes and I'm sure that's only the start of my worries if I really do go to acsi, so I was pretty much convinced that that was a sign from him and mentally decided to put it as my first choice. not to mention that I also promised him I would go to acsi willingly if I got 7, then freaked after I found out I did get 7. *insert paiseh emoji right here* 

2. Shing told me during sa's open house (which was pretty okay, continue on this later) that her friend's friend asked his teacher and his teacher said if you have a raw score of 7 or 8 you shouldn't even TRY acsi because everyone's doing well for ib and everyone wants to do it. so I thought about how low my chances would be even if I did put acsi as my first choice and my chances of getting in hc/rj are virtually nonexistent. so heck, let's just stick with acsi and take that risk. one risk is enough right. 

3. found out that Vanessa Nah, Tata and Shing may be putting acsi as first choice (but Tata didn't in the end, she put nj I think) and got more excited because that means I'll actually have friends if I do go there!!!! spent the rest of Saturday trying (and failing) to convince Dawn to put it as her first choice too cause she will get in. but I don't know what she put. and I don't know what it'll be like to be in the same school as her sigh. hopefully if we do end up in the same school, we'll have separate cliques yay. 

so I guess that's about it and I did end up putting acsi as my first choice, followed by acjc then sajc. and then tonight mom lovingly decided to tell me she thinks acjc would suit me more because she realised that it IS (emphasis because I told her before and she dismissed it) hard to get into a local u with ib and not a's. sigh. so now the problem is whether or not to appeal to acjc if I get into acsi. WHAT DO I DO. leave it to God, he'll settle it. right. I won't have to worry about my future/uni life until it comes a little bit closer but he has it all under control I give everything to him yay. okay I shan't worry. 

so SA's open house was rather okay. the atmosphere was about the same as St. Margs' and Dawn kept saying it's really nice but it kind of just turned me off, I'd much rather go to acjc than sa. I'm pretty sure the students there party more than the students in acjc so yes. but verses on the walls is not enough to get me to go there, they'll probably just make me less sensitive to those verses anyway so yes.

BUT. their mass dance was hilarious. I wanted to laugh so hard I needed to sit down. but I wasn't in the laughing mood so I just laughed for a long time normally. and plus they filled the whole dang canteen with J2s and man when they clapped it was SO LOUD. it was quite freaky. it was louder than them talking. yes. 

RJ's open house was fine. we didn't do much but they gave food in their goodie bag and that's about it. highlight of the open house. plus I drank koi. and we watched zac and ah dy perform yay. that's all. 

we had our cell. it was fine. wasn't great for a first one but it was fine. 

Sunday was just a bad day. almost cried in church thrice. got super pissed off. it was a bad day for everyone. it's over and thank God for that. 

AND. now here I don't know what else to write because I've rambled. OH.

I realised on Saturday that if acsi's guy:girl ratio is 5:1 HOW DO THEY HAVE A BATCH DANCE  :( oh man I want a batch dance so bad ugh. I REALLY DO it's so fun. sigh. sigh. :( ya that's about all I'm thinking about nowadays.

nothing is going on and I'm so bored at home so today I went with Chloe and Kaiwen to watch a movie (so undercover) with Miley in it. what even. that is how bored I am. it wasn't a very good movie, but it broke the monotony of staying at home staring at pudding two days in a row. that's good enough for me. 

sigh I really do need someone to entertain me or talk to me. okay bye let me go watch good eats and sleep early because sleeping early makes me wake late which means I have less hours to occupy.