God please please please give me joy. I can't find joy in anything I do. I can't even remember an instance when I was joyful.
this isn't how it's supposed to be. I'm praying for joy. praying that it comes.
so tomorrow morning I have to wake at like 6.30 to go to church because parents want to go for the prayer meeting. I don't know if I'll go. I don't know if I want to.
all this is becoming too hard.
I'll also be doing Sunday school with felly. I don't feel like this is the area where I'm supposed to be serving. but I don't know best. I suppose. I wish I was musically inclined. or inclined at something. anything at all. I just hope I just haven't discovered it is all. and not that I don't have any inclination. that would be depressing at best.
God show me what you want me to do. lead me where you want me to go. give me joy all while I'm doing everything because I'm so sick of feeling numb. or sad.
Lord. are you here? can you hear?
/edit
on a lighter, more superficial note, I want a film camera please. I am willing to pay to develop the stupid expensive (relatively) pictures because the colours are just so much more pleasing to the eye. my eye. it's important to my eyes. yes. I should stop. bye.
No comments:
Post a Comment