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I'm feeling pretty bad now, in my sad little hole but hey I'm listening to Joyce Meyer and my emotions don't control me. I control myself. I'm gonna push past this and think positive thoughts so here is a list of things I am thankful for. This will hopefully make me happier, more grateful for everything around me and not wallow in my self-pity. 

1. Sunday school went pretty well today, really well actually. it went a lot better than I expected. 

#1 evidence that feelings aren't accurate:

 I was freaking out about it the night before, I don't know why. Thank God for felly cause she calmed me down yay :) 

2. we talked about cell today and we are actually (finally) starting it. on Saturday. with zac leading worship. that should be quite good. I think. 

#2 evidence that feelings aren't accurate:

I doubted this cell thing last year cause it didn't feel right. and I didn't feel that Michelle could be the most appropriate person to lead us. in hindsight now, she probably is. 

3. had a nice talk with zac on the way home, without it having tension or anything. maybe we can be good siblings. sigh. God fix that please. I don't know how. I will try my best to love him. 

4. everything feels bad now but it will get better. I will get better. 

5. reunion with primary school friends tomorrow. I finally get to catch up with them. I miss them. 

6. I will pray and these bad feelings will go away. 

7. God loves me.

8. God hears me.

9. all of this is for a reason. if a friendship ends soon, at least I got some valuable takeaway from it. 

10. I am allowed to hurt but not allowed for hurt to control me. 

11. with God's help, hurt will NOT control me. my feelings will not control me. I will do things that feel wrong but are right. 

12. things will get better. 

13. there is no hurt in heaven. 

14. all I have to do is go through these years on earth and I will be reunited with God. I will be joyful then. it doesn't matter if my time here isn't completely joyous.

15. I actually felt joy today, during Sunday school and during worship during youth. 

Thank God for everything.